postscript and a cautionary tale for thanksgiving feasters

My mother - being a fond  mother and therefore one of my most devoted readers - explained to me one of the mysteries of my childhood after reading the post on a different pumpkin pie. It is a sad, sad tale but the moral is improving so I am moved to share.

My father loved good food and a good dessert just naturally follows a good meal, especially a good holiday feast. His mother, my grandmother Ina Burr Merrill, was a famously good cook and a very warm, loving mother. I remember the smells and delights of her kitchen, the cookies and pancakes, the huge family gatherings with cousins and aunts and uncles galore. Of course she made pies to die for -the apple pie with her own unique spin (the spin that she taught my mother and my mother passed down to me), rhubarb, and other pies as well. But the pie my father loved best and could never, ever have enough of was her supremely good pumpkin pie. One day she promised him as much pumpkin pie as he wanted ...  Nobody (aside from my grandma and my dad) knows just how much pie that was but apparently my dad was more greedy than wise. He ate and ate and ate that delicious richness of pumpkin pie until his stomach rebelled and he was sick. He never ate pumpkin pie again. So you see, it is a sad, sad tale. Let it be a lesson to all. (Just what that lesson may be I leave up to you to discover. On reflection, I have discovered at least a few.)

Although this recipe is not the pumpkin pie of the sad, sad tale it is one that my grandmother had in her files and it is written in her hand. When my mother gave it to me she also gave me a most wonderful gift - she said that I was a lot like my Grandma Merrill. She too had her basic and favourite recipes but loved trying new ideas and had recipes written on scraps of paper and bits of paper napkins. To be told that I am like my very much loved and wonderful grandmother in any way at all just absolutely made my day!

I considered making this pie for our Thanksgiving feast  but decided that to go against tradition might incite mutiny but I will for sure be giving it a try before long. Maybe with a few changes though.... just can't do Dream Whip :)

old reliable pancakes

I realize (I do!) that calling these reliably favourite pancakes 'old reliable pancakes' is very likely selling them way short but I have been sitting here for more than a few minutes wondering what to call them. There is no name on the bedraggled piece of paper that I have chased around my kitchen for years - the paper with the recipe written in a hurried scrawl, portions crossed out and re-written as I discovered a new and better way to make these pancakes that we come back to time and time again. This is not to say that we don't love the new favourites but this version is the comfort food version in our house. I have been making them in one form or another for all the years of my kids lives (and we won't go into how many that would be). 'Old reliables' is what I call them in my mind and so that is what they are christened here. No pretence, nothing fancy - just old fashioned, reliably good pancakes with a new healthy twist.

There are several flours in this recipe and each adds something unique, so if you have them or want to add them to your pantry, go for the gusto. On the other hand if you don't have and don't want them all, just use what you do have and make sure the total volume adds up. (Usually volume alone is not the best way to exchange flours but I have found this recipe is incredibly forgiving in this regard.) The only non-negotiable flour-wise is the cornmeal. It is an absolute must and probably the reason these are so beloved - the crunch is perfection. The other absolute is the cardamom - don't ignore it either. And if I can, I would encourage the use of whole grain flours because anything else in pancakes is a ridiculous excuse for the first meal of the day and shouldn't be eaten by man or beast.

We like to load these babies up with Greek yogurt, fruit and a drizzle of lovely pure maple syrup. It makes a lovely start to any day. Or if you want to end your day with them, an egg on the stack is pretty great too.

old reliable pancakes

1/2 cup spelt flour

1/2 cup whole wheat flour

1/2 cup almond meal

1/2 cup buckwheat flour

1/4 cup cornmeal

1/4 cup ground chia seed

2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp cardamom

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp sea salt

3 eggs

2 1/2 cups buttermilk (or soured milk of your choice)

1/4 cup grape seed oil

2 Tbsp pure maple syrup

Combine the dry ingredients in a medium bowl and whisk together.

In a separate bowl add the eggs, buttermilk, grape seed oil, and maple syrup. Whisk together then pour into the dry ingredients and fold just until the dry ingredients are incorporated. Bake on a hot griddle, flipping when bubbles appear on the surface.

a different pumpkin pie

When I was young I thought pies were made with fruit - usually apple but sometimes rhubarb. My mother didn't make cream or custard pies - probably because my dad didn't like them. When pumpkin pies were brought to the table at our extended family gatherings for Thanksgiving or Christmas  I was unimpressed; I thought they looked awful and couldn't imagine what would entice anyone to eat pumpkin pie. Then I married into a family that rarely ate fruit pies and always, always had pumpkin pie to cap Thanksgiving dinner. Horrifyingly I was asked to make and bring a pumpkin pie to that significant family gathering the first year we were married. I had never tasted a pumpkin pie, let alone made one but I wanted to please and impress so I pulled out my trusty Betty Crocker cookbook and got to work. I don't remember how successful the endeavour was in the end - I do remember a bit of an issue with a spill but I must have boxed up and shipped out the rest of the memory because there is nothing there. Also in the interest of pleasing and impressing I ate pumpkin pie with my new family and never let on that I had not always eaten pumpkin pie. What a revelation!!! and what a lot of wasted time. Except for the sad appearance there is just nothing to not love about a good pumpkin pie.

This pumpkin pie is a different pumpkin pie. At least as good but different. No baking and no gluten but lots of the delicious rich spiciness that dresses up pumpkin so very well. The recipe was shared with me by a good friend ages ago - I just made a few easy changes so that it is now free of gluten and refined sugars. It still doesn't look like much but it is so, so good.

Might just be a good addition to the menu for Thanksgiving - it is just around the corner here in Canada.

a different pumpkin pie
(adapted from Pam Sellar's recipe)

Crust:
1 1/2 cups crushed gluten-free gingersnaps
3 Tbsp melted butter

Mix the butter and crushed gingersnaps. Press into a 9" pie plate. Set aside.

Filling:
1/4 cup honey
1 envelope gelatin
1 1/4 cup canned pumpkin puree
1/2 tsp each - allspice, ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon, and sea salt
3 egg yolks
1/2 cup heavy cream

In a medium saucepan whisk the gelatin into pumpkin puree, then add the remaining filling ingredients and stir to mix. Cook over medium heat until it begins to bubble, reduce heat and cook for a further two minutes. Remove from heat and cool.

Cream topping:
3/4 cup heavy cream
2 Tbsp honey
1/2 tsp vanilla

Combine the cream, honey and vanilla. Whip until soft peaks form. Take out about half the whipped cream and set aside. To the remaining half add 1/2 tsp cinnamon and fold to combine.

To assemble to pie spread half of the pumpkin mixture into the gingersnap crust, cover that with the vanilla/honey whipped cream, spread the remaining pumpkin mixture carefully over the cream and finally top with the cinnamon whipped cream. Chill and enjoy.

october four

Today is Merin's birthday. It is not a sad day. Today I remember her birth and the overwhelming gratitude I felt for her life the night she was born, the gratitude that has grown since that night. I think of moments and days in her life and feel so much warmth and joy. I remember her beautiful smile, her sweet and generous nature, how she was sometimes too hard on herself but so forgiving toward others. I remember her  temper and passion, how she worked (consciously) to harness both and how she so sweetly apologized when temper slipped the reins and she "freaked out" about something. Her life was short but full - she could have done much more had she a longer time here but she did everything she wanted to do. Her passport was full of stamps from countries around the globe. She earned a BA Honours degree, she danced, she taught, she loved, she married, she was a mother. She was not perfect - no one is and I don't want to make her into what she was not - but she was wonderfully sweet and perfectly Merin. She was a ray of sunshine from top to bottom, inside and out. 

Happy birthday sweet Mer! Today I celebrate your life :)

went to the ballet

Last night I went to the ballet. Madame Butterfly was the ballet, Alberta Ballet was the company. The performance was wonderful and the plot well-expressed through the choreography, Pucinni's compelling music, the sets and gorgeous costumes. I was thoroughly there and thoroughly enjoyed it. But more than the beauty of the ballet I was able to relax into the memories of Merin that so flood any experience that touches dance. To relax into those wonderful memories was a welcome joy.

Merin loved going to the ballet. Even though it almost always entailed rushing home from class to dress and primp - in a flurry and fluster - and finally arrive breathless at the theatre to sit in less-than-desirable seats on the third balcony (or to stand for the entire performance at the Paris Opera House when in Paris) she loved the ballet. She loved anticipating the show and, when the night arrived, dressing up to meet the occasion.  She loved meeting her friends, going with her sister, sometimes with me, or going solo. She loved the atmosphere that attends the event, the music, the dancers, the dancing - she loved the dancing!

Last night's ballet - centered as it was on Japan - was colored with another layer of memories of Merin. Memories of finding a studio and teacher that met her standard and need the year she was in Tokyo with us. Teaching her the long and multi-change train route to that studio once we found it. Sitting in the heat and humidity of the studio while she took class. And then knowing that she could easily go on her own but going with her anyway just for the joy of sharing time together.

Ballet memories are so very heavily loaded for me. Three years have passed and I miss my Merin more intensely than I can say. Time has mellowed the pain of loss in a way and I hope that mellowing will continue but I am realizing that I will always yearn for Merin and grieve her loss, even as I anticipate our eventual reunion. Being in a ballet setting brings precious memories to the very front of my mind and heart in a way that demands I pay attention to them. Until last night the intensity and sheer volume of those memories teetered on the edge of too sharp. It was wonderful to remember and feel the warmth of all that my daughter was as I relaxed into those precious memories last night. Once again, I know that life is good.

image from the Alberta Ballet website

pear apple almond cake with dark chocolate

I love Sunday evenings. The house is peaceful, I am happy. Most times my heart and my stomach are absolutely satisfied - good food shared with the people I love best in all the world is a simple pleasure and an absolute luxury. A luxury that I never take for granted and hope to never live without. Today we shared our Sunday dinner with Thomas and his family. Ewan is teething and wanted everything and nothing but finally settled very happily on a cob of corn. Theo negotiated for another piece of bbq'd sausage with every bite of potato and Jane is so grown up that she ate her dinner and chatted about life and kindergarten with all the élan of a five year old. A bit chaotic but ever so much more charming and dear than the most gracious dinner party. It is the kind of party I most cherish.

The carrot on the end of the stick this evening was the cake that was baking when everyone arrived. Always a good thing to have a carrot to dangle when one's dinner guests are balking at their vegetables and this was a particularly appealing carrot. I must admit that I was a tiny bit anxious that this particular enticement might disappoint my youngest guests as it has a generous amount of dark chocolate (something that does not appeal to the palates of many youngsters) but I need not have worried. Theo devoured his with intense concentration while Jane attended to her dessert with a little more delicacy but no less enthusiasm. The rest of the table simply enjoyed.

The recipe is one that I found a few years ago on Smitten Kitchen and have made several times. Today I played with the sugar and flour, and added some apples from our tree outside. It is an incredibly delicious cake and so simple to make. Loaded with fruit and dark chocolate, topped with some softly whipped heavy cream...

There is browned butter in this cake. Browned butter and I have a history and it isn't a happy one. I have learned to do nothing but brown the butter and even then I don't take my eyes off the task for even a second. Not to check a recipe or stir another pot. Nothing. Every time I do, the butter burns. Just that fast it goes from perfectly fine to black and bitter. It seems to me the critical moment is the nutty smell, just after the foaming begins to subside.  (If you wait for the butter to truly brown you're hooped - it will continue to darken off the heat.) That is the moment to remove the pan from the heat but keep stirring for a minute or two - bad things can still happen to those precious milk solids. It is a little tricky but a trick well worth mastering. The cake is ever so much better for it.

pear apple almond cake with dark chocolate
(adapted from Smitten Kitchen) 

3/4 cup unbleached all-purpose spelt flour
1/4 cup almond flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 Tbsp baking powder
3 eggs
1/2 cup unsalted butter
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 large pears, diced
1 small apple, diced
3/4 cup dark chocolate chunks

Butter and flour a 9 inch springform pan, set aside.

In a small bowl whisk together the flours, salt and baking powder.

Using a mixer whip the eggs on high speed for 5-9 minutes until pale and very thick. While the eggs are whipping, brown the butter (or brown it before you begin the whipping). When the eggs are sufficiently whipped, add the sugar and continue whipping for another minute. Turn the speed down to stir and add 1/3 of the flour mixture, then half of the butter, a third of the flour, the remaining butter, and the rest of the flour.Stir just until combined.

Pour into the prepared pan. Sprinkle the pear, apple and chocolate pieces over the top and bake at 350 degrees F. until the cake is brown and springs back to the touch - about 50 minutes in my oven. (there is a lot of fruit in this cake and it is very moist but there is a difference between moist and underdone - test carefully)

Serve with softly whipped cream.

just two for Sunday dinner

Sunday dinner at our house is most often a noisy, busy, happy, crazy, cluttered kind of affair with kids and toys scattered over top of and around parents lounging in groups and talking - the kind of catching up that is super important for all of us to stay connected. It is a highlight of my week, even those times when things just aren't like in the movies. I love to have all (or as many as possible) of my chicks in one place and under my roof, and Sunday afternoon is when it most often happens. Usually the house is full but occasionally the family has other obligations. On those rare Sunday evenings David and I have a quiet few hours together to enjoy a meal that is tailored just to us. No food preferences to consider other than our own, no bedtimes to work around. Just what we like and when. A soft and gentle time for we two. This past Sunday was one of those Sundays so I made a red quinoa salad that took my fancy earlier in the day and paired it with an easy bacon-wrapped, mustard and brown sugar-smeared pork tenderloin. Simple, easy, healthy, good. Enjoyed at leisure and together. Yummy enough to want to share.

Quinoa salads are so popular that they are becoming a bit cliche - a shame because there is so much creative potential. On the other hand there is a large contingent that has decided (quite emphatically) that they dislike quinoa and won't have it however it may be prepared. This salad offers something for both camps, those who think another quinoa salad is same-old-same-old and those who think they don't like quinoa. Red quinoa is quite a different beast from regular run of the mill white quinoa. Firmer in texture, nuttier in taste, and altogether better - it may persuade the quinoa nay-sayers to rethink their stand. The lime vinaigrette is spicy and bright. We liked it all. I made three small changes to the recipe. The first was of necessity not choice - I had only one lime so my vinaigrette  used the juice of one, not two limes. It tasted just about perfect to me but two may be better. The second was substituting grape seed oil for canola - I don't use canola anymore. (A reasoned choice.) And finally I increased the amount of cilantro because I love it :)

Our quiet Sunday was lovely for a change but I really hope we have a noisy, busy, happy, crazy, cluttered gathering next week. I miss it when we don't. 

red quinoa salad with spicy lime vinaigrette
(from Food 52 with a few small changes)

vinaigrette

1 shallot, finely chopped
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
1 small jalapeño, seeded and finely chopped
zest of 1/2 lime
juice of 1 lime
1 tsp lemon juice
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
2 Tbsp olive oil
2 Tbsp grapeseed oil
sea salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

Combine all the ingredients except the oils in a small bowl. Gradually whisk in the oils until combined. Taste for seasoning and set aside.

quinoa salad

1/2 cup pumpkin seeds
1/2 tsp olive oil
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 medium butternut squash, peeled and seeded, cut into 1" cubes
1 Tbsp grapeseed oil
1 cup red quinoa
2 cups water
1 (15 oz) can white beans, drained and rinsed
1/2 cup cilantro leaves, roughly chopped

 Combine the pumpkin seeds with the olive oil and paprika on a baking sheet and toast at 350 F for about 8 minutes, or until brown and fragrant. Set aside to cool.

Turn the oven temperature up to 400 degrees F. Using the same baking sheet, combine the butternut squash and grapeseed  oil. Season with salt and pepper. Roast for 30-35 minutes, tossing halfway through to evenly brown and caramelize. Set aside to cool.

In a medium saucepan bring the water, pinch of salt, and quinoa to a boil. Lower the heat, cover, and simmer for 15 minutes. Drain and rinse with cold water to cool slightly. Transfer to a large bowl.

Add the cooked squash, beans, half the pumpkin seeds and half the cilantro. Drizzle with the lime dressing and toss to combine. Taste for seasoning. Garnish with the remaining pumpkin seeds and cilantro.