One would think that with a houseful of busy children - with lessons and homework, bedtimes and mealtimes - the missing would have been so much more insistent. The work load was certainly demanding. I went to bed every night exhausted and missed curling into him. One could perhaps think that that very busyness lessened the missing - perhaps it did. But I stay very busy now when he is gone. No longer with a houseful of little ones or crazy teenagers even, but every day is fuller than the one before. And every night I am worn out.
In years past I missed his support and physical help, his half of our team. Now I just miss him. When he is here I feel stronger, better, more whole. The difficulties of life are easier to face and the joys are sweeter when we share them. It is something that is hard to find words for. But the missing becomes longing and is very insistent.
I read this post on Friday and thought "Dream hubby!!! What woman doesn't dream of a response like that?!" I doubt it is one that I will ever hear from David's lips. That's okay though because he takes a whole day out of his very busy schedule while in Japan for a trip that isn't quite long enough anyway to take the train 500 km each way to buy me some beautiful pans that can only be purchased at the factory. Isn't that dreamy? Sure is to me. It isn't the gift of the pans (although two NakedPans for Valentine's Day is pretty cool) but the doing something for me, that is not easy or convenient for him, just because he knows I would like it. It is that he knows me - that we know each other. That we are really, really together.